There are things I can’t change. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to or have not tried. They are just there, sitting in the center of my life like a puzzle with missing pieces, a puzzle I long to complete but can not.

Where are those pieces?  I search everywhere.

Others try to help:

“You can find them in exercise,” I’m told. “Just be in your body more.”

 I swam three days a week for fifty years.

“Maybe if you changed your diet,” another suggests. “The fuel in your body makes all the difference.”

I’ve become an expert on diet but my food remains undigested.

My sister tells me that the answers live in scripture and the beliefs of the church.

I devoted myself as a child, but left when I recognized my essence in those who’d been burned.

I walk. I look. I seek. I meet others who stand in judgment because their puzzle pieces slipped together quickly and easily a long time ago.

I visit therapists, healers and shaman who tell me the pieces are only found inside myself.

I stay alone, meditate, fast, ask, demand, weep and pray. I come to know myself but the pieces are not found.

Maybe the pieces are found in acceptance, acceptance that this lifetime I’ve been given a puzzle I can not complete.

Or perhaps those empty places are not missing after all.

What if the emptiness ‘is’ the gift, a sweet on-going torment of desire designed to open consciousness, like the allowing of space that permits a piece of music to breathe.

The wound is endless and forever, the price of being human. The Dalai Lama tells us we must stay in the world, not go away from it, so I continually pull myself up and out of longing, remembering the grace I’ve come to share.  

Your internal GPS


You know that voice from your GPS that tells you where you are, where you’re going, where to turn? It’s become an essential tool for modern navigation. Many people would not be without it.

Well, guess what? You have that same essential tool inside yourself. It’s built-in, works like a charm, never needs repair and costs you nothing. It’s a combination, genie in a bottle and wise guru from India. It’s sitting there, ready and waiting to be engaged. It’s the treasure you carry at the core of yourself. It’s your inner knowing ~ your intuitive voice.

You may be wondering, If I have this voice, why the heck don’t I know about it already? If this place is so wise, why hasn’t it been front and center all along?

It has been there but it’s been waiting for you to make a merger between two very different and powerful parts of yourself. Imagine sitting down with the managers of Intel, (the Intellect) and asking them to step back while we bring in a new guy, the Dalai Lama (the spiritual side.) It’s not that they don’t like each other, it’s that their approach is so different.

To work together with such diverse styles requires patience, respect, listening and learning. The managers of the intellect have evidence and spread sheets. They can show you numbers and recount years of successful operations. But the Dalai Lama doesn’t care about any of that. He just sits, smiles and knows. Yes, you have done a  good job, he agrees. I applaud you, but if you would allow me some time and space, I can enrich what happens here in ways you never imagined. My goal is not to replace you. My goal is to quiet your experience enough for you to hear the inner voice you carry, because that voice connects us all and comes from a universal knowledge that is vast, loving and open.

The world is asking you to put away old paradigms and be a voice for change. Your knowing is present and fully intact. Do you remember any of those whispers?

Maybe it informed you that your afternoon meeting would be canceled, your mom was ill or perhaps it warned not to take that flight, or to trust a deal that looked a little too good to be true. This voice comes in whispers like the beating of a hummingbird’s wings, until we acknowledge and make room for it to be fully heard.

Engaging your internal GPS, is like asking your best friend for advice. If you never really listen or follow what is given, soon your friend will move into silence or back away all together.

Why not try listening, allowing and giving your intuitive voice a change to show you it’s stellar abilities?  It takes a little practice but the rewards are incredible. Not only can you access the wise and knowing core of yourself, but you’ll integrate and become more fully and completely who you are. When you don’t feel divided everything can shift. You’ll hold yourself in a calm, quiet place, a place of wellness that no longer requires validation from others.  Turning up the volume on your internal GPS allows you to navigate from a relaxed and confident place on the planet.

written 5-16-08