I have been remiss, I know. I haven’t posted for a long time having taken myself on a much needed vacation, a writer’s vacation, where I’ve done 75 joyous hours of work. Ha! My new memoir is well on its way. My apologies to the two people who actually read this blog.
I’m still in Los Angeles with my son Clay and his partner, Khrystyne, so my work breaks are filled with sunbathing, and walks down neighborhood streets under shouting sapphire skies.
I go home tonight and will miss them both, but must admit that my favorite part of being here was having my son to myself, as we drove three and a half hours to San Luis Obispo for Britan’s 16th birthday. I can’t remember when we’ve had that kind of time. Brit is my granddaughter, nearly six feet tall and lovely, sometimes called giraffe by unkind friends. But this birthday brought another kind of gift, a boyfriend who is six foot seven. She walks proudly by his side, even shopping for high heeled boots. My son’s card to her touched me: You have always been more than I could have ever wished for. You are an amazing person and I love you.
Clay and I sang, laughed and reminisced as we drove up and back. My son and daughter had a hard time of it growing up, resulting in a stagnant pool of parental guilt, but my son had a different take, “Oh no, Mom. It was all valuable life experience. I’m so glad I had it, all of it.” His words gave me a “Get Out of Jail Free” card.
Khrystyne is a tiny Vietnamese beauty who missed the party for a job interview. She has three passions: cleaning, cooking and my son. The house sparkles, cooking shows run back to back on a kitchen television and we all waddle from room to room nursing over-fed bellies. We returned from our trip to an excited Khrystyne, who’d discovered a new method for flea removal. The shop vac! Their dog, Cowboy, sat patiently as she ran the vacuum up and down his fur. You’d think he was paying for a spa treatment, but then who wouldn’t behave if you were being given steak and turkey on the side?
Yesterday Clay and Khrystyne told me they needed to go off by themselves, said they needed an afternoon alone. My alarm bell went off. “Oh no. I’ve overstayed my welcome. They have to leave their own house to feel comfortable. My visit has been too much.” But today they proudly displayed the birthday gifts they needed to get rid of me to buy. My heart opened in gratitude. My dear son, You have always been more than I could have ever wished for. You are an amazing person and I love you.
Heal Your Life & Free Your Voice with Karen Banfield 
Thanks mom
OH, Karen, this is so beautiful. I have tears rolling down my face. You have such a way of writing and revealing your heart on paper. And, you write exactly how I feel!!! But I do not have the words or phrases to express it as eloquently as you do. You know me and you have know know what a big chord you hit with me!! My daughter told me just the other day that I have given her so much material for a book about her life! Not sure it was a compliment or not, but she laughed after telling me. In fact, I do remember her even thanking me! I always thought, no matter what craziness is going on, if she felt loved, then all was okay. We will see! It sounds as if your vacation was wonderful, all the way to the end. I am sure you are a beautiful treasure to your family. Thank you for sharing your thouughts. Love Love
It gives me hope to have such a good relationship with my own son when he is grown. I love that your son gave you such a gift this year: no more guilt. No childhood is perfect. And he reminded you of the good things. Bless him!
This is so special, Karen, and it really touched me. It’d be wonderful to have that kind of relationship with your child. I enjoy reading your blog. You’re a talented writer.