Most women get an urge for a new dress, a china cabinet or a different hair cut, but not me. I woke this morning with an overwhelming urge to gather bones.

I need to find and hold the white bleached bones of an animal in my hands –  not the fragile bones of a small animal, but large weighty bones, bones that hold the energy of transition that is both life and death. Today I woke knowing that I needed them.

I need to hold the wings of a bird to elevate and cleanse my spirit, allowing perspective as I transition into a new chapter of my life and deeper still, into the very essence of myself.

There is an urgency to this that must be satisfied, but the dry lands of La Pine and Christmas Valley are too far away.

I could go to a spiritual bookstore and buy feathers that were neatly beaded and wrapped in leather, but purchasing them wouldn’t satisfy my need. I have to walk and seek and ask and discover. Then these healing tools will have the power of the day and the medicine of the animal still intact.

That is what is on my mind today, bones and feathers and finding.

My whole body longs to hold these things in my hands, so I can complete something unspoken, but felt, something unfinished and reaching. Don’t ask me why, it just is.